Convicted

I’ve know I have written under this title in the past, different content, I’m sure, but I can’t recall if it’s a book chapter or a blog post.  Convicted means to be found guilty.  We can be convicted by a judge or by a jury of our peers in a court of law.  Thankfully, I’ve never experienced a conviction in a court of law.  I’ve never been handcuffed and taken to serve out a sentence due to my guilt.  I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit - and it happened again today!  

For those who don’t understand, maybe you have been convicted at work.  Imagine you are in a meeting, and your supervisor says, “It’s come to my attention that some of you are taking longer than 30min at lunch.”   (You know you don’t start counting your 30min until you get your lunch order.)  He goes on to say how these longer-than-allowed lunches impact overall productivity and the bottom line of the company, and he even alludes to the fact that it’s stealing.  You sit there with a straight face and listen.  You may not raise your hand and openly admit your guilt, but you know you want to keep your job, you know he’s now going to be checking for adherence to the 30min policy and so for a while anyway, you make an effort to take only 30min at lunch.  You were convicted by your supervisor’s words during the meeting.

To take this a step further, I will openly confess my conviction.  Every Sunday I get convicted about the fact that I stopped writing and sharing a blog post each week.  I wrote from 2017 until 2022, then I became discouraged by low readership, I felt overwhelmed by having to write, record the video, sending the emails, and promote on social media that I just stopped.  Don’t get me wrong, I prayed about stopping, but the Lord never said, “Sure, Kim, you can stop.”  Rather, I said, “Lord, I’m tired of doing all of this, can I please stop?”  When He didn’t answer, I said, “Lord, I’m going to take a little break, I’m going to change the frequency of the blog, I’ll write one per month.”  And so that’s what I did, for a couple of months, then I just stopped.  He convicts me of this at least once per week, but sometimes more!

On September 21, at church the conviction was so strong I came home and wrote a blog post.  I convinced myself that it was too late in the evening to post it - I would post the next day.  I didn’t.  By Monday I convinced myself that what I wrote was too self-focused and no one would grow closer to God because of those words, so I didn’t share it.

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."  2 Timothy 3:16-17. I can testify to this - For 3 years, no matter what Scripture the sermon has been based upon, I get convicted of my own failure to be obedient.  Today’s message was not fully based on Matthew 25:14, but that passage was read.  I wrote about that passage in 5-Figure Financing.  I sat in church feeling overcome with guilt, once again.  I came home to start on my Sunday afternoon to-do list, that for the past 3 years, I have allowed to take all afternoon, and decided to be obedient and share a thought, in "human terms" with anyone who cares to read or share it.  Amen.

Convictions are hard.  I believe the first convictions I felt back in 2022 were the hardest.  I doubled-down to ignore them.  As time went on, they became easier to ignore.  I no longer focused on praying the Lord would give me a word to share each week.  I no longer set aside time to write what He gave me.  Until today - and I expect you will hear from me again next week!  I don’t know who else has been convicted.  I don’t know who needs to be obedient.  I will say the sacrifice of obedience sure feels better than the guilt of conviction!  Amen!

Thank you for reading! 
If you feel so inclined, please share!
In Jesus' Holy and Precious Name!  Amen!

Kimberly G. Massey
[email protected]
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