Convicted, again

Sometimes, I think this blog should be called, “My Conviction of the Week.”  Back in 2013, I started attending Bible Study Fellowship after years of my mother encouraging me to do so.  I could no longer use the excuse of it being too far away, when a group started meeting a mile from my home.  I was only going to attend 3 times, I was going to lose interest and stop, but satisfy her first by attending 3 times.  On the first evening, we played some ice-breaker games and such.  On the second week, we started reading in Exodus 1.  I had heard something about Moses being placed in a basket next to the Nile river, but to read the actual story!  Pharaoh felt threatened by the rapidly increasing population of the Israelites, so he ordered that all of the baby boys be killed.  I was also the mother of two little boys, and the thought of that was unfathomable.  I identified with Moses’ mother, I wouldn’t have been able to kill my son either.  I found it somehow comforting that the midwives found favor with God by lying to Pharaoh.  I didn’t agree with Moses’ mother that placing her son in a basket in the tall grasses next to the Nile River was the best thing to do, but that’s what she did.  I had never seen the Nile, but I have seen the Catawba, and no, I would not do that!  But God!  The baby was found by a girl, who took him home and asked her father if she could keep him (like he was a puppy) and her father, Pharaoh, said yes!!!  Then she sent her servant to find someone who could nurse the baby and she came back with Mose’s mother!  What!  Now I was hooked!  There is no way that was coincidental!  That was God!  I knew it was God in 2013 and I know it today!  

I have attended church all my life, but it was in 2013, when I first became excited about God!  I learned to read the Bible that year, and I understood it, and I identified with it, and the Word of God became real in my life.  I began to see purpose in my life and I realized that nothing that happens is random or coincidental, that God’s plan at work.  I was excited about God and talked about Him to anyone who would listen, from the grocery store line to Facebook, to friends at lunch.   
 
Eleven years later, I am still attending Bible Study Fellowship, and I have a group that I lead each week.  Last week we were learning about Jesus’s letters, recorded by John, to the seven churches in Revelation 2.  In verses 2 and 3, the church at Ephesus is commended for its deeds, hard work, perseverance, intolerance of wickedness, the way they test the spirits and recognize falsehoods, and overall the ways in which they endured difficulties in Jesus’s name.  The letter goes on to say in verses 4 and 5, that while all of that is true, they had no longer loved Him as they did in the beginning.  He tells them to recall their initial love for Him, and repent for the ways in which they had become complacent.  What he says next sounds like a threat, but this is God speaking so it’s not an empty threat, it’s a warning that if change doesn’t happen, it’s going to be a problem. “If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from it’s place.”

2I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.
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4Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

​So, this was my conviction of the week.  I used to be so excited about God, about learning about Jesus, and about reading my Bible.  Although I had attended church all my life, it was like I was reading Scripture for the first time.  Everything seemed new, well, not new, but it all seemed to come together.  I was able to make connections, and I could apply the Word to my own life for the first time ever.  Now that I’ve been studying Scripture for eleven years, and I’ve read so much Scripture and I can make connections, and make a habit of doing so - maybe, just maybe some of my excitement is gone.  Maybe I have forsaken the love I had at first…whew!  

In the past few weeks, I have been in conversation with a family member who has also attended church all of his life, but just recently truly, and I mean TRULY found Jesus.  When I speak with him, there is an excitement about God, as he talks.  He is quoting Scripture, asking me challenging questions, we are sharing about how we each saw the Lord throughout our week.  He was telling me about waking up earlier to do his morning prayer and meditation, listening to Chrisitan podcasts, reading entire books of the Bible in an evening - and I’m like…I need to do better.  I think I may have reached a level of comfort in the Lord, that I’ve read His word, I know His word, and it’s a part of my daily life.  I pray without ceasing.  I do get upset about things, but I am intentional about not letting any occurrence get me too flustered, as I know that God can, and I trust that He will, turn it around for good.  I am mature enough to realize that the good He makes from every situation may not be to my benefit but to benefit His kingdom.  It’s the excitement, though, that I may have lost.  It could be the excitement that could draw more people into His kingdom.  A lot of people find church to be boring.  I can’t walk around being boring, I’ve got to be excited again in order to spark intrigue in others that they might want what I have, and that’s salvation in Jesus Christ.  Amen.    

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