Books by Kimberly Griffith Anderson
  • Home
  • Message 2021
    • Blog2020 >
      • Blog2019
      • Blog
  • Kimberly's Books
    • Sowing Seeds with Brother Wali
    • Abstinence Books
    • But I Love My Husband / But We're Not Married
    • Fungi Books
    • Good Girl / Single Dad 19
    • Start Writing
    • Turn North
  • More Information
    • About the Author
    • Human Terms Publishing
    • Upcoming Book Events
    • Presentations
    • Pictures

Sighting Light

It's Not About the Nail

3/10/2019

3 Comments

 
Print this Post
​Over 18 million people have seen this video since 2013, but I saw it for the first time this week.  You have probably seen it, too. In this YouTube video, a woman with a nail in her forehead, is talking to her husband, about the pain and pressure she is feeling and how she can’t sleep, how she doesn’t know if the feelings are ever gonna stop.  He seems to listen to her for as long as he can, but 30 seconds into the video, he says, slowly, “You have a nail in your head.” Frustrated, she responds, “it’s not about the nail!”  She tells him he should stop trying to fix it, just listen.  There is some anger and frustration, but it is a great depiction of how we communicate.  In total, the video is 1 minute and 41 seconds, but many thoughts crossed my mind. One thing I thought about was the scripture advising us to “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”  (James 1:19)
The maker of the video, Jason Headly, posted a short comment, “‘Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen.’  Every man has heard these words. And they are the law of the land.  No matter what.” I know that there exist differences in how men and women communicate, but I don’t think the need to be heard is solely feminine.  Years ago, an uncited study revealed that women speak an average of 20,000 words per day compared to men’s 7,000. Newer research casts doubt on these numbers, indicating that we could speak more similar numbers of words per day, depending on our setting.  I believe men need to be heard, too, they have things on their chest, and they need a good listening ear--they just don’t want to share it when the game is on.   

To be a good friend, we must be a good listener.  To be a good spouse, we must be a good friend. Even when the solution is obvious, we must maintain our listening ear.  This is hard for man--and by man, I mean woman, too!  I did a Google search for how to be a better listener, and found the following tips.  
  • Listen to learn, not just to be polite.  If we are truly a friend, we must be committed to the investment of time it takes to listen.  
  • Quiet your agenda.  Listening is a time commitment; we must focus on the person speaking and quite our own thoughts (and phone) while we listen.
  • Ask Questions.  To truly engage, we must ask clarifying questions repeating back what you heard, “so what I hear you saying is…”
  • Wait until they are done before you respond.  When we do this we have the whole story, not just the main idea.
The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing.  (1 Thessalonians 5:17) When we talk to the Lord, we know He is listening.  We know He has the solution. We know He knows our heart. We must be careful, however, that we do not continue talking when we should be listening for His gentle whisper.  (1 Kings 19:12)

A few more scriptures about listening:

~Psalm 18:6
In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

~Psalm 5:3
In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

~Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

~1 John 5:14
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.




AMEN!
Have a blessed week!
Kim


​
3 Comments
Mom
3/10/2019 02:21:17 pm

That was the funniest video! I’d never seen it before. You chose a great topic. I think we all can be better listeners. As I was writing through the Proverbs over the last several weeks, I realized there are lots of Proverbs about listening. Proverbs 17:28 was the most interesting one and recent one; it says : Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

Reply
Kim
3/10/2019 02:53:03 pm

Yes, Mr. Anglin used to say, "it's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." Sounds like Proverbs.

Reply
Veronica
3/13/2019 06:44:19 am

Yes, we must be active listener. My one of my jobs that I had after Adam came into our lives was being a Family Partner. I supported parents who had child(ren) with special health needs. In my job was crucial that we were active listening. I learned a great deal while I worked that job and I hoped it has carried over in this chapter of life. Being an active listening can be difficult if you don't follow the tips such as eye-to-eye contact and being genuine attentive. Mostly definitely an active listener is not a fixer that's the key. Not seeing the nail at first cause we to listen and see that she frustrated and distress. All she wanted was her husband to listen. Well last night my husband came in to talk to me about his day, I was watching NCIS. I wanted to hear what they were saying but I had to turn to his conversation. I couldn't fix but he just wanted to listen. Yes, we should be active listeners because Our Heavenly Father listens all the time. He is so awesome that He listens one of us individually. No one can do that but Him because He is omnipotent, omnipresent, a promise keeper, faithful and most of He gracious, merciful, and just. We should work on our skills of listening to one another. Be slow to speak and swift to listen that's what James 1 is saying to us.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

      If you would like to receive this blog by email, please enter your email address below.
    Submit
    Picture
    Kimberly Griffith Anderson, Author
    I am a wife, mother, educator, and author who, between other duties, enjoys writing.  My name is actually Kimberly Griffith Massey.  In this blog, I will share some sighting of God's light each week. 
    ​

    Author Photo by
    Heather G. Rollings, 2017

    Cover photo by Carlton Griffith Photography
    www.carltongriffith.com 

    Archives

    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019

    Blog Posts from
    ​2017-2018
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    For all of the aspiring writers out there! Check out Kimberly's guide to how you can Start Writing.

    Picture
    If you enjoy this blog, you will enjoy Kimberly's 30 day devotional. Turn North. This title is from Deuteronomy 2:3. "You've circled this mountain long enough, now turn north."
All rights reserved. Copyright 2018 Human Terms Publishing & Educational Services, LLC
Picture
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Message 2021
    • Blog2020 >
      • Blog2019
      • Blog
  • Kimberly's Books
    • Sowing Seeds with Brother Wali
    • Abstinence Books
    • But I Love My Husband / But We're Not Married
    • Fungi Books
    • Good Girl / Single Dad 19
    • Start Writing
    • Turn North
  • More Information
    • About the Author
    • Human Terms Publishing
    • Upcoming Book Events
    • Presentations
    • Pictures