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I can hardly believe January 2021 is almost over, what a whirlwind! I joked that January 1 felt more like December 32, but in truth, I’ve had some new prayers this month. Covid-19 has continued, and it’s much closer to home now, than ever. I’ve received nearly 20 contact tracing notifications for my children attending school. Amazingly they have never been identified as a close contact and have not had to quarantine. The list of people I know who have had, or currently have Covid is growing, and my daily prayer when I look at Facebook, is that I don’t find out someone has died. That prayer, has unfortunately, been answered as NO. Everyday, I am faced with sending condolences and adding friends and family members to my prayer list as they, and I, grieve another loss. Our family began 2021 with a prayer. We decided to step out on faith, but had no idea it would take this much faith! While we remain hopeful that our prayer will be answered affirmatively, 31 days in, we are beginning to wonder. We are asking ourselves if maybe we made a mistake. We have wondered if God is hearing our prayer - I know He is because I saw His very personal hand on my life multiple times this week. For instance, I’ve been trying to overcome my love/addition to Coca-Cola. After waiting in a long drive-thru line at McDonalds, for a large coke (that was my complete order) I was told that they were out of Coke. What - McDonalds out of Coke? That had to be a God thing. If He cares whether or not I drink Coke, He most certainly cares about the bigger issues in our life. I was reading in the book of Job this week, and while, I have never experienced what he experienced, I have experienced similar thoughts. 4 For sighing has become my daily food; my groans pour out like water. 25 What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. 26 I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil. Maybe you have experienced similar thoughts. Maybe you’ve had something heavy on your mind that you are praying about and hoping for resolution, but see none in sight. Maybe your prayer is for understanding. Quite often we commiserate with friends or read self help books to help us reach understanding. The book of Job, itself, can make someone question or wonder why, just as Job did. If we keep reading, we will find God’s response. Below is a portion. 22 Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail, 23 which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle? 24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? When I read this, I am silent. I have no answers. I tremble in awe. I realize that my questions do not have answers that can be reconciled with any self-help book, I won’t find the answers on Google, I won’t find the answers from conversations with friends - although I love them, value them and know they mean well. When I read this, I am reminded that the answers to my questions are found only in God’s Holy Word. I am reminded that the Holy Spirit resides in my heart. He comforts me when I am anxious. He knows my questions, my desires, my innermost thoughts. When I read Job 38-42, I realize that the answers to my questions may not be for me to know. I realize that, once again, I have started thinking too much. I am reminded that I should be thinking less and praising more. At the end of the chapter 42, Job said it best: 2 “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 3 You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. Thank you for reading! Stay safe this week! Kim
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Last week I referenced the story in Genesis 24 in which Abraham had sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac and bring her to Canaan. The servant, we are not told his name, wonders if she will not come to Canaan, if he should take Isaac there - Abraham tells him no. He explains that he has prayed that God send an angel before him to make the choice simpler. Once the servant made the trip with his ten camels, he climbed down and began to pray. He proposed that he would ask one of the women for water, and if she also offered to water his camels, that she would be the one, the wife for Isaac. I was struck by verse 15. “Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder.” This prayer was answered before he had finished praying. In this week’s study we learned that Isaac and Rebekah struggled to conceive a child. Verse 21 states, “Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.” We can easily calculate from verses 20 and 26 that twenty years, yes twenty years, passed between the two sentences in verse 21. We also know that Isaac’s father and mother waited and prayed for MANY years before he was conceived. Sometimes the Lord answers our prayers immediately, sometimes His answer is wait, and sometimes His answer is no. I’ve said this many times and personally I have experienced all three responses. Currently, I am waiting on the answer to two prayers. I don’t think they are related, but they could be, only the Lord knows! Waiting is hard and I begin to wonder how I should proceed. I know that faith without works is dead, so I am not waiting in paralysis, but waiting and continuing to do the work He has called me to do. I am waiting and seeking the answer to my prayers. In February 2019, I was out walking, thinking, and praying, and I realized that I might need to consider purchasing another car as my son would try for his permit that summer. At the time I was driving a nearly 20 year-old car, that embarrassed him, and I thought a new driver might need some more modern safety features. I continued walking and I quickly decided that I would purchase a Honda CR-V for him. I thought a 2010 or 2011 would be modern enough and would probably not break my budget. I continued walking, thinking and praying. My former neighbor who used to work for Honda, popped into my mind, that I should reach out to him to see if he still worked there and if he might have such a vehicle in stock. While walking, I texted him. He called me immediately. I told him what I was looking for, and added that I wanted white or silver, and told him it was no hurry. His response, “What? ‘10 or ‘11, white or silver? I ain’t gonna find that! And you want low miles? You need to expand the years or the colors or something, I’m not gonna find that!” I thanked him and assured him I was in no hurry. At home, I went online to search for the car, but did not see what I wanted. On that Monday I went to the credit union to work out the financing for the car I had not found. It became almost impulsive that I would look online for the right car. I said it wasn’t a hurry, but I acted as if it were urgent. I began to see car ads on my Facebook. In May, on Mother’s Day, I was sitting on the couch and I heard a voice say in my right ear, “Where are you going to park it?” Startled, I thought, oh, I guess I need to sell this old car! Immediately, I took the vacuum cleaner outside and cleaned that old car up and parked it with a for sale sign on it. It took about two weeks, but it sold! I prayed again, “Lord, I did it, now what?” I heard no response - which means wait. My friend at Honda would check with me periodically to be sure I hadn’t found the vehicle elsewhere, but I had not. Finally, I told him that I no longer wanted a silver vehicle, I wanted white, but it could be ‘10 or ‘11. He was borderline furious. By July I was getting antsy. My son had his permit and I was teaching him to drive in the vehicle I depended on and didn’t feel comfortable doing so. I began to lose hope that I would find the ‘10 or ‘11 Honda CR-V. The bank would call every month or so to ask if I had found a car or to tell me my approval had expired and I would need to apply for financing again. I began to expand my search. It no longer needed to be a Honda CR-V, it just needed to be a compact SUV, and white or silver were okay. I couldn’t believe how elusive that desire was! At the end of July, I found a 2009 white Toyota Rav-4 online and went to test drive it. It drove well, had low miles, and I prayed to ask the Lord if this was the car, but He didn’t respond. I called my husband, but he was fishing so he didn’t answer. I called my dad and he didn’t answer. I bought it. I didn’t use the financing I had already worked out, but I let the dealership work out the financing. On that Monday I received a call from the dealership that the bank had rejected the paperwork and I would need to come back and bring $500 more towards the down payment and the payment would increase by about $200 per month. I cried! I called the bank and was advised to return the car to the dealership since they messed up the financing. I couldn’t do that, too embarrassing! Sure enough, that evening, my husband and I went to the dealership to return the vehicle. I took the walk of shame. That Thursday the credit union called and asked if they could help me find a car since they had this outstanding loan! I went and sat down with a loan officer who looked at some choice websites with me and we found a car north of Charlotte. That evening, my husband and I drove 40 miles up to that dealership to test drive a 2010 Toyota Rav-4 with low miles. I liked it - it wasn’t the car’s fault the other one didn’t work out. I wanted to buy it, but my husband wanted to haggle over a scratch on the gas tank cover. As we stood on the lot trying to decide if that scratch was too deep to be buffed out I received a text from my friend at Honda of Rock Hill. It was a picture of a 2011 Honda CR-V with 86K miles that was in the process of being traded. My heart skipped a beat. That was my car. The Lord answered my prayer on August 3. I texted back - “That’s my car, do not let anyone get it. Park it in the back with a sign on it. I am coming! Thank the Lord.” I could write an equal amount here about this very specific answer to prayer, like the fact that the car wasn’t a need but a want; like about how I got a raise that began on July 25 that was nearly equal to the car payment; like about the Carfax report on the car; like about how now my son has his own car I drive the Honda CR-V. When I say He worked it out for my good, I just want to shout! Today, have “submitted” to the Lord, a prayer that is a need, and I am waiting. I am not worried. I know He will answer. I know that He knows this prayer has a deadline, not one that I set, but one that exists. I know He is working it out for my good. If you are a frequent reader of this message, be looking for a testimony - it is coming. I know I’m not the only one who is calling on the name of the Lord today. I hope this week’s message gives you hope. I prayed, then succumbed to my own desire and timeline, and bought something else. He allowed me to make a fool of myself, but prevented the second lapse. He answered my exact prayer with the exact person He told me to reach out to, who was also the exact person the owner would bring it to at the dealership. Right now, I am so hopeful imagining how He is working out all of the intricacies of my current prayer right now, I can hardly wait to share the testimony. AMEN!
 So many things have been on my mind this week, I don’t know where to begin. I’ve spent a great deal of time in reflection as I realize I am the age I considered old as a child. As a matter of fact, I am the age I considered old as a young adult. Today (Jan. 16) I celebrate my 45th Birthday. Like my 40th birthday I wanted to spend it in Hawaii, but circumstances didn’t support such a trip. Five years later we plan to be adventurous and eat dinner inside at a restaurant to celebrate this milestone. As the day has been approaching, I’ve been thinking. First, it is an awesome act of God to even still be alive. Most recently, I’ve survived months of a pandemic without becoming sick. I’ve had high blood pressure for years, I’ve been overweight for years. I’ve reached a point in which I can maintain my weight, but have difficulty with losing it - but, for me, maintaining is a huge step. There was a period when I thought my vehicles were magnets attracting other cars into wrecks and I was afraid to drive. I have survived a divorce and the suicidal thoughts that came with it. To be “old,” I’d say I am in overall good health-no major aches or pains. My feet hurt first thing in the morning. I can no longer walk around barefoot, I must wear my slippers. I sometimes can’t recall names of people or the specific order of events as I tell a story. My coworkers laugh at me for drinking hot water. I finish my coffee then refill my cup with water and heat it in the microwave - I don’t know why I like it, but I do, twice a day! The only thing that has really become a problem is my vision - or shall I say, my eyesight. I have Dollar Tree readers and Blue-Light readers stashed everywhere, and two pairs of prescription bifocals. I’m at the point where I can’t even recognize myself on a Zoom screen without glasses. My vision, however, I think is strong. On Friday, I read my Proverb to be reminded of the Scriptures written just for me. There are 31 chapters of Proverbs, one for each day of the month, so your Proverb is the one for your birthday. Immediately, I know Proverbs 16 is for me. Verse 1 and verse 9, “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue. 9In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” I am a planner. I am a thinker, I like to do the research, do the calculations, and work out all the details. I struggle with allowing things to “just happen organically” or leaving things to chance - or leaving things to the Lord. I pray without ceasing, but I also think without ceasing, and when His answer is not obvious to me, I fill-in with my own plans. If I don’t hear from God, I assume He is telling me to do it my way. And that must stop. My Proverb continues, “All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. 3Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. 4The Lord works out everything to its proper end— even the wicked for a day of disaster. 5The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.” This past week we studied Genesis 24. In this chapter, Sarah has died and Abraham is old. He asks his servant to travel 600 miles to his country of birth to find and bring back a wife for his son, Isaac. As I read this, I found myself in the servant’s question, “5The servant asked him, ‘What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?’” Abraham responds, emphatically NO. He tells the servant that God has sent an angel before him to make the process simpler when he arrives. The servant prepares the camels and they make the trip. When they arrive it is almost evening, but probably several days later. It was at the time when the women came out to fill their jars with water. The servant climbs down from his camel and begins to pray. He asked the Lord to make the trip successful. He asks the Lord to make it such that whichever woman he asks for water, if she also offered to water his camels, then that be the wife for Isaac.
This passage made my whole spine tingle. Before he had finished praying - his prayer was answered. The God the servant prayed to, the God of Abraham, the God who sent an angel before him to make the journey successful, is the same God to whom my prayers are directed. The servant proposed a plan, but presented it to God, apparently God agreed and it was so. I am so inspired by this story. In the words of Tye Tribbet, “If He did it before, He can do it again.”
During my 45th year of life, I want to renew my prayer life. I may start a prayer journal to put my prayers in writing. Our family started the year with a big prayer. Well, it's big for us, but it's not big for the Lord. It’s a process, we know, and He is working. We have already seen His hand at work. I’m trying not to worry, but I’ve done calculations and have considered plan B, C, and D, but I try to remain patient, as He knows my prayer. I prayed to the most high God and He will answer in full, I am sure. Once He does, I will share the testimony and praise with you. AMEN. Thank you for reading! Read your Proverb! Kim
I saw the above meme posted on a friend’s social media this week and it really gave me a much needed chuckle! We’re one week into the new year, and, well, you know what’s happening! Believe it or not, I have no words for my thoughts and feelings regarding last week. I just know that the look on my 16 year-old’s face when I came home from work on Wednesday, was very disheartening. He called me over to look at his phone. He was looking at still photos of the mayhem at the Capitol. He still has a year and a half before he can vote, but these United States appear to be a foreign land. I’ve found that when we don’t have the words, we can go to the Word for wisdom and understanding. Four passages I would like to highlight. Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts. ~1 John 5:21 NLT If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 15Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. ~2 Chronicles 7:14-15 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. ~Galatians 3:28 For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. ~1 Corinthians 14:33 It always gives me pause when I see someone that I haven’t seen in a while and they tell me they are following me on social media. I try to post nice things, funny things, Scriptures, pictures of my dogs, my weekly message, but following me just doesn’t seem like the best use of someone’s time. I know they just mean that they see my posts, but it makes me think of idolatry and I am certainly not someone to be idolized. I am someone who sins, I am imperfect in many ways, I am growing in my sanctification, and I am a friend of Jesus, but I am not Jesus and not someone to be idolized. We must be very careful that we don’t begin to allow anyone or anything to take God’s place in our hearts. It can happen very easily. We can idolize sports figures - calling them the GOAT, we idolize actors, musicians, and politicians - hanging on their every word. It’s a dangerous thing to allow someone or something to replace God in our hearts. Paul wrote about how we should handle disagreements in Romans 14, saying, “Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.” While we all have differing beliefs and ideals, we shouldn’t allow these to become matters of contention. We must keep the ways of the Lord as first and foremost in our hearts and minds. We must humble ourselves, pray, and allow His sovereignty to rule. His ways are not our ways, nor are His thoughts our thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9) We must realize that although we differ from others in our thoughts and opinions, we are still one in Christ. Whether we are a Clemson fan or a Carolina fan, a Delta or an AKA, a southerner or a Yankee, or a Democrat or a Republican, none of this matters. When we go to heaven, it will not be sectioned off for different cliques. Scripture reminds us that “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. ~Galatians 3:28 This week, when you feel yourself getting upset, feeling the need to lash out at someone because they think differently than you, feeling the need to use social media to make a point or handle a disputable matter, pause. Try to have some objectivity. Remember that Jesus taught us to love, and He taught us to pursue peace. Always remember 1 Corinthians 14:22, “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” There are about 50 weeks left in 2021, let’s not let week one set the tone. Amen. Thank you for reading! Pursue Peace. Kim Previous Post about Disputable Matters For many people 2020 was a major setback. I won’t begin to list all of the possible different scenarios, but we all know what happened. Rejoice, the number of your days have extended your life into the 2021 calendar. Excuses aside, there comes a time when your thoughts and commiserations must become action.
What are you indecisive about? What is it you have been pondering, but first trying to get every detail in order? What would happen if you just went ahead and tried it without everything being just perfect? What is perfection, anyway? As King Solomon tells us there is a time for everything - maybe the time is now. There is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. What good thing are you hesitant to do? Could your unhappiness be due to your unwillingness to unclench your own fist? Is someone you know in need, but you remain unwilling to help? Since you can’t take it with you, be a blessing to someone else. No, they can’t take it with them either, but you will have shown them the goodness and mercy of the Lord. We should never rely on things, possessions, stuff - to make us happy. They may provide temporary happiness, but only true happiness, joy, comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. There are all sorts of things, good things, the Lord has prompted us to do that have not been done because of technicalities, excuses, and the pursuit of perfection. I, too, am guilty, but I really try to get over myself and just do the good things the Lord has put in my heart. Around Thanksgiving, I decided that I wanted to mail Christmas cards to family and friends, a tradition I had stopped several years ago. I wanted to hire a photographer. I wanted to buy matching Christmas sweaters for the boys, and the dogs. We would meet the photographer at the big Christmas tree downtown then I would write this grand poem to be printed on all of the cards and mail them out to all of my family and friends. As the time drew near, I hadn’t ordered the sweaters, I hadn’t written the poem, I hadn’t found a photographer...it looked like I wasn’t going to send cards. I took the dogs out to photograph them with my phone, then I took a few uncooperative photos of the boys with the dogs and looked at everything. I decided on a photo of just the dogs. Then I ordered them, they arrived late, and I thought the picture was dark. I didn’t have a poem written, and my excuses began to mount. Finally, on Christmas Eve, I mailed the cards. No one received them before Christmas, but they did arrive and I received several texts and phone calls. Our family and friends know our love during this socially distant season. In the 5th chapter of Ecclesiastes, Solomon says it is a grievous evil how people hoard their wealth, how they leave nothing to their children. He talks about how we are born with nothing and will die with nothing we can carry in our hands. “17All their days they eat in darkness, with great frustration, affliction and anger.” Is this you? Do you live in darkness, frustrated and angry regarding the conditions of your life? Stop this cycle and make change. Make a plan and work through the process. I have so many people tell me they want to write a book. They want to know about the publishing process and how everything works. I typically ask them, so have you written the book? Almost always, the answer is no. Writing is a process. Publishing comes many, many steps after writing the first iteration. 2020 brought about great, unforeseen change. There is too much risk for us to do some of the things we were accustomed. Rather than just being sorrowful, think about how you can safely do the things you desire. I’m leading a Bible study group, but have never met the majority of my group in person, as we meet on Zoom. I’m thinking of how we can gather outdoors and what we can do to make our time meaningful. It’s a new year, but yes, many of the old problems linger. Be creative and think of new ways to have old fun. And don’t forget, there is a vaccine, consider whether this may be an option for you. Don’t remain in darkness. Do good for others. There comes a time when you just need to be a helping hand and show God’s love. The time is now. Amen.
I’ve joked this week that the Lord answered the boys’ prayer in abundance! They will not only be blessed to move once, but twice! I have stressed about this, tremendously - losing sleep, tears, and portions of my sanity. I thought about ways I could back out of the contract, but I didn’t want to disappoint the couple who were patiently waiting for closing day. I’ve wondered why. Why does this have to be so hard? Why haven’t any of our contracts been accepted? Why is this happening to us? Why, Lord, why? I know that my thoughts are not His thoughts, but knowing the nature of God from my study of His Word, I have to believe that He is teaching us some things through this process.
He may be teaching us to live with less. We left a four bedroom home in a great neighborhood to live in a two bedroom apartment. Did I mention we have two dogs in the apartment with us? The boys are sharing a bedroom and it’s been great! I told them that in a few years they will be heading off to college and now would be a good time to learn to live with a roommate. They have the master bedroom with both of their beds setup, and they seem to be enjoying this arrangement. The dogs are receiving much more frequent walks, as before we could just let them go run and play in the backyard. I guess this will mean more steps and exercise for us too! As we packed and had to make decisions on what to keep, what to donate, and what to throw away, we realized that our home contained great excess. We probably had enough stuff to fully decorate and partially furnish three homes. It was an accumulation of purchases and gifts over many years. With having to downsize, we had to part with some stuff. The pruning was hard. Big decisions had to be made. The boys were finding things from their childhood and reminiscing over old toys, Halloween costumes, favorite blankets - and they wanted to keep it all. When the keep pile was bigger than the toss pile, I said, “You know we have photo albums and picture boxes of you with all of this stuff. Since we have the pictures, we can get rid of the stuff.” Nick said, ”Oh, I didn’t think about it that way. True.” And I thought - wow, did that come out of my mouth? I need to take that same advice. He may be teaching us to rely on Him more. In Bible study, we are learning about how God shaped Jacob over a twenty-year period. We see that early on, he made decisions on his own, but as he grew, he prayed before making decisions. I am in constant prayer, but I have been intentional about stopping to be specific and praying out loud. The other day, in my exhaustion of lifting and carrying boxes, I said, “Lord, please give me the strength to lift these final boxes and carry them down the steps.” And He did it. I prayed on Friday morning, as the forecast was for rain, that He help us to do what needed to be done and hold off the rain. I left the house to get ready for closing and Troy stayed to finish sweeping the garage. He said that as he backed out of the yard, it began to rain. As we look for our new home in this seller’s market, it will only be through Him that we find our next home. We’re not able to rely on our own efforts to make it happen. The new house will be chosen by Him. We can articulate what we want, but we don’t know the future and our future needs. We are relying on the One who knows these things to guide us to the correct house to suit our present and future needs. I struggled with a title for this week’s post. It’s just stuff. Less stuff, More Him. It’s a Process. As I try to stay in touch with my feelings I realized as we moved our belongings that I was neither excited nor regretful. I was going through the process. I cannot say for certain that the Lord told me it was time to move - I may have made that decision on my (collective) own. In 2019 when I wanted a Honda CR-V, He asked me, “Where are you going to park it?” That meant I needed to get rid of the old before I could receive the blessing of the new. To me the same applies in this situation. Before we can be blessed with a new home, we must part with the old. It’s done. Now what, Lord? I could be depressed, gripped with fear, or we could have just bought something and settled. Instead, it is well with my soul. It’s a choice to trust God, continue to pray, and remain joyful, and hopeful through the process. Amen. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-17 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ~John 15:2 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ~Psalm 126:2-3 2Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Thank you for reading! Have a wonderful week. Kim |
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