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If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may recall that in August 2020, it was a seed planted by my children that was the stimulus for us to move out of our home. Well, on Friday, we cleared out the last of our belongings, leaving the new family a few house-warning gifts, of course, and we moved to an apartment. I know that many people move frequently, but I only moved once with my family, and that was when I was in 8th grade. As a parent who strives to teach through experiences, I thought moving would be a great teaching exercise for the boys - there were other reasons, too, but it started with them. I’ve joked this week that the Lord answered the boys’ prayer in abundance! They will not only be blessed to move once, but twice! I have stressed about this, tremendously - losing sleep, tears, and portions of my sanity. I thought about ways I could back out of the contract, but I didn’t want to disappoint the couple who were patiently waiting for closing day. I’ve wondered why. Why does this have to be so hard? Why haven’t any of our contracts been accepted? Why is this happening to us? Why, Lord, why? I know that my thoughts are not His thoughts, but knowing the nature of God from my study of His Word, I have to believe that He is teaching us some things through this process. He may be teaching us to live with less. We left a four bedroom home in a great neighborhood to live in a two bedroom apartment. Did I mention we have two dogs in the apartment with us? The boys are sharing a bedroom and it’s been great! I told them that in a few years they will be heading off to college and now would be a good time to learn to live with a roommate. They have the master bedroom with both of their beds setup, and they seem to be enjoying this arrangement. The dogs are receiving much more frequent walks, as before we could just let them go run and play in the backyard. I guess this will mean more steps and exercise for us too! As we packed and had to make decisions on what to keep, what to donate, and what to throw away, we realized that our home contained great excess. We probably had enough stuff to fully decorate and partially furnish three homes. It was an accumulation of purchases and gifts over many years. With having to downsize, we had to part with some stuff. The pruning was hard. Big decisions had to be made. The boys were finding things from their childhood and reminiscing over old toys, Halloween costumes, favorite blankets - and they wanted to keep it all. When the keep pile was bigger than the toss pile, I said, “You know we have photo albums and picture boxes of you with all of this stuff. Since we have the pictures, we can get rid of the stuff.” Nick said, ”Oh, I didn’t think about it that way. True.” And I thought - wow, did that come out of my mouth? I need to take that same advice. He may be teaching us to rely on Him more. In Bible study, we are learning about how God shaped Jacob over a twenty-year period. We see that early on, he made decisions on his own, but as he grew, he prayed before making decisions. I am in constant prayer, but I have been intentional about stopping to be specific and praying out loud. The other day, in my exhaustion of lifting and carrying boxes, I said, “Lord, please give me the strength to lift these final boxes and carry them down the steps.” And He did it. I prayed on Friday morning, as the forecast was for rain, that He help us to do what needed to be done and hold off the rain. I left the house to get ready for closing and Troy stayed to finish sweeping the garage. He said that as he backed out of the yard, it began to rain. As we look for our new home in this seller’s market, it will only be through Him that we find our next home. We’re not able to rely on our own efforts to make it happen. The new house will be chosen by Him. We can articulate what we want, but we don’t know the future and our future needs. We are relying on the One who knows these things to guide us to the correct house to suit our present and future needs. I struggled with a title for this week’s post. It’s just stuff. Less stuff, More Him. It’s a Process. As I try to stay in touch with my feelings I realized as we moved our belongings that I was neither excited nor regretful. I was going through the process. I cannot say for certain that the Lord told me it was time to move - I may have made that decision on my (collective) own. In 2019 when I wanted a Honda CR-V, He asked me, “Where are you going to park it?” That meant I needed to get rid of the old before I could receive the blessing of the new. To me the same applies in this situation. Before we can be blessed with a new home, we must part with the old. It’s done. Now what, Lord? I could be depressed, gripped with fear, or we could have just bought something and settled. Instead, it is well with my soul. It’s a choice to trust God, continue to pray, and remain joyful, and hopeful through the process. Amen. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-17 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ~John 15: 2 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ~Psalm 126:2-3 2Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
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It can seem like for about the past year we have been living out a series of worst case scenarios. Last year, this time we were beginning to hear about a virus that had the potential to become a pandemic - and it did become a pandemic. Millions of people have suffered from the virus and watcher loved ones suffer hoping they would recover, but the worst case scenario played out. We are currently watching our friends in Texas suffer biting cold snow and blizzard conditions. As they have prayed for the storm to pass, worst case scenarios of electrical failure, bursting water pipes, and deadly conditions have played out. After 15-years at the same address, our family has decided to move. Without having a new home under contract, we decided to list our home on December 31, 2020. It’s now been under contact for 40+ days. We have written multiple contacts on homes to purchase, but to no avail. Worst case scenario, we are moving to an apartment while we continue to look. During the summer of 2020, my son earned his driver’s license and soon after, his grandparents bought him a car! Every parent of a new driver worries a bit - did I teach him everything? What if he encounters a road rage situation? What if...? Well, on Friday, the worst case scenario struck. He was rear-ended and pushed into the rear of the car in front of him. There are all kinds of things we can say, “when it rains it pours.” “Things are going from bad to worse.” “It’s the snowball effect.” I’d like to challenge you to say something else as you experience your own worst case scenarios. “But God.” Yes, we are still experiencing a pandemic, but God saw fit to bless us with a vaccine and now the numbers are decreasing! Texas is still in the midst of its crisis, but God is there! He is protecting people and guiding them to resources and bringing forth a sense of community as they cling together to help one another. This week we will be moving to an apartment, and disappointed because it’s a far cry from our dream home. I have been stressed about the fact they won’t do a month to month, nothing shorter than 3 months. And the cost of the 3 month lease was $400/month more than our mortgage has been. But God...had the property manager reach out to me...to ask if their lease-break option might be helpful. It’s a 12-month lease, but can be broken with 30 days notice. Now the rent is $20 less than our mortgage has been. But God! My son’s car is damaged in the front and rear. It may be totaled. But God...saw fit that no one was injured. But God saw fit that my son would not be charged as a contributor to the accident. But God saw fit that I, not his little brother, nor one of his friends be his passenger when the accident happened. But God! As you continue through life and what seems like worst case scenarios, look for the hand of God. It’s there. Rather than commiserating over the situation, thank God for what it’s not. Realize that God is good all the time. He is not the cause of our worst case scenarios. He has not forgotten His people. And it’s not necessarily true that He is trying to teach you a lesson. He may be, but no where in the Bible does it say we should expect all of our days to be without confusion, heartache, or pain. Be intentional about looking for God in the midst of every worst case scenario. Without Him, it really would be the WORST case scenario. Amen. ~John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Thank you for reading! But God...Amen. Kim I’d say this question is asked by all of humanity at some point in time. Some of us ask this question daily, others, only in times of distress. What was God thinking, we wonder - was there a lesson I was to learn? Did He do this to teach me to persevere? Was the purpose of this to show me how independent I can be? Was He showing me His love? Sometimes when God shows us His love it may not feel the way we prefer to feel love. If you have ever wondered the thoughts of God, you are not the first. We read in Genesis 30 about sisters Leah and Rachel both married to the same man, Jacob, and in competition for his love. They each want to bear children from him as proof of his love.
We see in this passage that the sisters are in great competition to bear the most sons. They experience hurt feelings, jealousy, sibling rivalry, all to hide the underlying feelings of bitterness, humiliation and unworthiness each of the women felt to differing degrees. When the women, themselves, could not conceive, they gave their servants to gain an edge over the other. In verse 6, Rachel believes God has vindicated her and has succumbed to her begging. In verse 17 we are told that God listened to Leah. She interprets it as her reward or prize for giving him her servant. Later when Leah conceives again, she believes God has given her a son, so that she will then gain her husband’s love. In verse 22 we are told God remembers Rachel, listened to her and enabled her to conceive, thus removing her disgrace. This passage, while it took place, we believe, from 1836 BC to 1689 BC, shows us that we are not the first to attempt to determine God’s thinking. Several things to note about this passage. 1. God is not a participant in our sin. He doesn’t participate in our attempts to one-up our peers, our pettiness, or our attempts to make others jealous or to humiliate. If we think He is a participant we are wrong. ~Habakkuk 1:13 Your eyes are too pure to look on evil; you cannot tolerate wrongdoing. Why then do you tolerate the treacherous? Why are you silent while the wicked swallow up those more righteous than themselves? 2. God’s plan is sovereign. Although we are made in the image of God, having the ability to think, reason, create and plan, we must never underestimate Him. His plan overrides our plans every second of every day. ~Colossians 1:16–17 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 3. Our prayers do not change His plans. God cares for mankind. He knitted each of us together within our mother’s womb. He knows our every need, want, desire, motivation, insecurity, fear, and more. Our prayers are our communication with Him. Our prayers help us to stay in alignment with him, but our prayers do not change His will. In the example above, God had formed a covenant with Abraham (Jacob’s grandfather) that his descendants would be too numerous to count. The sons Rachel and Leah bore to Jacob were the descendants of Abraham. ~James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 4. God doesn’t forget about our situations or conditions. Scripture says God remembered Rachel, and He listened to Leah. This could make us think that maybe He forgets about our problems or sometimes doesn’t listen to our prayers. I think these are examples of anthropomorphisms - when Scripture attributes human traits to our sovereign God in order to help us understand. Genesis 8:1 tells us, “But God remembered Noah and the animals…” Let’s understand that He didn’t actually forget. To be forgetful is a flaw and He is not flawed. How can He forget something we are constantly praying/begging for, anyway? When the solution to our situation takes longer than we are willing to wait, we may think God forgot. When His plans align with our prayers we may rejoice and say He listened. We must always remember our place and never confuse it with His. He is sovereign in every way and His sovereignty is beyond our imagination. ~Ephesians 1:11 11In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. As you continue throughout the week trying to figure out what God is thinking, meditate on Romans 11:34-36
Thank you for reading!
Happy Valentine's Day! (Sorry it was long - I have to write what I am given. Amen.) Kim I grew up in what was called a New Testament church, and I really didn’t know the designating factor between the OT and NT until much later in life. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, the OT is the story of God and His people before the birth of Christ. In the NT, there is a new covenant, a new promise, the promise of salvation through Jesus Christ, the Son of God. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I began to study the OT. I find it fascinating, God’s choice to inspire certain details in the narratives, and how other details are excluded. In Social Studies when we learned about Mesopotamia and the beginnings of civilization, it was boring, but to read about it in Scripture is captivating and amusing. Certainly, the ways of life then were different from today, but the way humans think has not changed. Recently we read about the twins Jacob and Esau, how Esau was born moments before Jacob, with Jacob grasping his heel. It seems the inclusion of this detail indicates that from their beginnings Jacob wanted to be in Esau’s position, or wanted what was rightfully his brother’s. In Genesis 25, we read:
Of all things important, why this? Jacob was cooking some stew, and Esau said he was starving. Jacob, as I think about my own sons, takes this opportunity to do a bit of bargaining. I could hear my sons bargaining over taking out the recycling or washing the dishes, but these boys bargained the birthright - for soup. We know that this was important because it was included in Scripture and because Scripture draws a conclusion for us, just in case we missed it. Verse 34, “So Esau despised his birthright.” What was the birthright? It was like a “head of household” status given to the first born. It gave the firstborn the rights to the father’s estate and a double share of everything that was to be passed down. When I read the passage in Scripture, I would say Esau didn’t care much about it, or didn’t find it too important, but Scripture tells us he despised it - he hated it, he detested it, he regarded it with contempt. So, what’s the big deal? Who ordained that Jacob would be younger and Esau older? God did. He told their mother that the older son would serve the younger, but then in this scene, we see that Esau was okay with giving up his position as the older son - all it took was a bowl of soup, a temporary need, to cause him to sacrifice it. Later, in Chapter 27, we see that he obviously forgot about this day because he thinks he can still get his father’s blessing, but it had already been given to Jacob. What has God given to me that I treat nonchalantly? What blessings has He ordained just for me that I don’t value? In what ways do I despise the goodness of the Lord that has been bestowed upon me? This passage illustrates that when we don’t protect the blessings He has given to us, it’s an offense to Him. Scripture draws the conclusion, “So Esau despised his birthright.” What blessings do I despise? What blessings do you despise? - - - - - One thing that comes to mind is my hair. It thick and has a tight curl pattern, and did I say thick? I've lamented over my hair for years, but during the closure of 2020, I began to embrace it. I realized it's a blessing not a curse - a blessing many people do not have. I decided then that I would stop speaking negatively about it, stop putting heat and chemicals in and just wear it with pride. Today, I am realizing that I despised my hair - glad I checked my attitude. The next thing that comes to mind is work. I cannot tell you how I prayed for this job. I lost multiple nights of sleep praying that I would get a call back, prayed through three separate interviews - and God decided to bless me with this job. It is a lot of work, more than I could possibly have imagined. I complain about it, I’ve said this way of life has made me a shallow thinker, prevented me from writing novels, all sorts of things - I may need to repent, as I certainly would not want my job to be taken away from me. What do you despise? Do you need to do better? Check your attitude this week, in Jesus'. Amen. Kim |
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