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Some time ago, I was feeling overwhelmed, and I asked the Lord if I could start publishing this message weekly rather than monthly. He clearly said no. It was not the answer I wanted, but I accepted it and continued to be obedient. This week, I asked Him if I could take an 8-week break to take care of some things, such as myself. He hasn’t said no - or at least I don’t think He has.
My family has been in a new home for a month and we love it and we know that we are abundantly blessed. I am feeling some frustration over the fact that I cannot make it what I really want, as fast as I want it to happen. I think these feelings are compounded by the fact that since December we have been in transition. I’m tired of boxes, tired of things not being in place. I want to hang curtains, paint, clean, and update - but it’s difficult with work, family, and other activities. Yesterday at work I was preparing for a Zoom session scheduled for Monday and I thought I should email a quick reminder to all of the teachers who had registered to come. I typed the email then went to the registration portal to see who should receive the email. I was disappointed to see that no one had registered. I had a moment of rather negative thoughts. Then I asked myself, did I send out the email announcing the session? I searched my Sent folder, but could not find it. Then I scrolled through my Drafts folder and there it was - I had typed it two weeks ago, it, but had never clicked send. I looked at the top of my Drafts folder and saw that I had 300 Draft emails - emails that I had begun but never finished and never sent. Later in the day, my frustration got the best of me again when I had so many tabs open that I couldn’t find something I needed. I told my colleagues, “Y’all, I’m going to close Google Chrome and just start over. I have too many open tabs.” They stared at me. I said, “For real, I’ve got too much going on and I can’t find stuff, I’m forgetting things.…” I realized that all these open tabs were like a metaphor of my life - too many open tabs. I said, “I’m going to close the program. And you know what, I’m going to delete this Drafts folder.” They stared at me. I looked at the mess on my computer and I deleted and closed. It felt good. I didn’t feel any remorse or regret. It was overdue. It was like cleaning out an old closet. I really feel led by the Holy Spirit to share a Scripture-based message each week, but it can be a burden when my time is so limited. Truly, I have realized my whole life is like a browser with 100 open tabs. And when there are so many open tabs, it drains the system, and slows down progress. I’m convinced that I am more productive when I start earlier in the day. To awaken at 5:30am and exercise, however, I must go to bed earlier. My goal is now 10:00pm. Going to bed earlier is what I have not mastered. This may be the last post for few weeks. I am going to work on myself. I am going to spend time in prayer asking the Lord which tabs I need to keep open and which ones should close. I tell my kids that cleanliness is Godliness. I am going to work on demonstrating that truth. I am going to work on establishing some new good habits while settling into our new home. I will miss you all. This is not the end, it is a pause. Prayerfully, when the weekly message resumes, it will be even better as it’s author should be in a better physical and mental place. Your prayers are appreciated. Thank you for your patience! Peace and love to you! Kim
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This week, I watched the evening news with my mouth agape in total disbelief that someone in South Carolina had the gall to hijack a school bus. The news report stated that there were no injuries. I thought, there may not have been physical injuries, but there will be emotional trauma. Later in speaking with my sister, she saw the aftermath of the situation just after dropping her daughter, my niece, off at school. I said to her, “I’m ready to move to another world. This whole world is crazy.” The truth is, at some point in the future, only God knows when, I will be moving to another world. As Jesus said, “My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” (John 14:2) I don’t know exactly what the new world will be like, but I’m sure it will be free of crazy because it will be free of sin. 1 Corinthians 2:9 tell us, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.” I’m sure I am not the only person who has thought about an alternative location to all the ridiculous and horrendous things that happen on earth. The question is, while I am confident that my heart is in the right place for heaven to be my final destination, are you as confident about your heart and final destination? Scripture tells us in Romans 10: 9-13 “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Are you saved? Understand that salvation is not a matter of whether you are a good person, it is not a matter of your work professionally or in the church, it is not a matter of how much you give to charity or whether you feel comfortable praying in front of a group. Salvation is not a measure of how much you sin or what those sins were or are. To be saved you must confess that Jesus is the Son of God who died to pay the penalty for your sins. You must believe that He was then raised from the dead defeating death. Through Jesus you are justified - you are no longer guilty of sin. When you die, truly, a new world awaits. “Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.” If you desire to know more, speak with a minister or Christian friend, or email me at [email protected]. While we remain on this earth, be watchful and careful. Kim
I remember feeling like my parenting had definitely entered a new stage when I disconnected Nick’s carseat for the last time. Sure, the booster seat remained, but that was easy. Both of my boys could open and close their own car door, they could buckle their own seatbelt, and I was happy about those things. I recall the summer when I was anticipating having them ride the school bus home from school that fall and I wanted to teach them how to stay home alone for 30min until I arrived. That was definitely a new stage! I could go to the grocery store alone and only buy what I intended to buy - wow, what a day!!! It seems like just last month that I had an afterschool program fee deducted from my account, but it was actually 3 years ago as that ended when Nick graduated from 5th grade - he will finish 8th grade next month. Yep, next year I will have two sons in high school - and now Zach is contemplating whether he should graduate early since...he can. As the years have passed, I’ve shed many tears and prayed so many prayers. I’ve protected and had difficult conversations, I’ve tried to teach lessons and come up with creative punishments, supply all of their needs, and many of their wants. God has been good to us for sure. I remember talking to the pediatrician about how Zach seemed delayed in speaking. He assured me there was no delay, and added today you ask when he’s going to start talking, next you’re going to ask when he will shut up. Well, last week, Zach, who works as a cashier at a grocery store came home with groceries that he picked out and paid for, himself. He said, “Mom, I’m sick of this fridge looking like this, so I decided to be responsible and buy us some food.” He bought Hot Pockets, Lunchables, Gatorades, 2 half-gallons of ice cream, ice cream sandwiches, popsicles and yogurt. I’ve been making an effort not to buy so much junk food, and to reduce our food waste and he just ruined all of that because he was sick of this fridge looking like this. His pediatrician was right! On the evening of the NFL draft, the boys wanted chicken wings, and I obliged. Nick sat with his plate of wings, potato wedges, coke and a bottle of ranch dressing. He dipped all of his food in ranch before every bite. Finally, I said, “Nick, you need to stop with that, that’s way too many calories and fat.” First he gave me the side-eye, then he said, “This ranch is not going to kill me and not eating it is not going to save me.” He kept on dipping. The pediatrician was right. A few months ago, we studied Genesis 21 when Abraham sent Hagar and his son Ismael away because Ismael had been mocking Isaac, his son with his wife Sarah. Scripture tells us that Hagar wandered in the desert with the boy.
I remember wondering how the boy, Ishmael, who should have been 13 or 14 years old, at the time was carried by his mother. Moreover, I have wondered how she put him under the bushes and made him stay. My teens don’t stay where I put them! They don’t take my suggestions or follow my lead. I offered $50 to the first one to completely unpack and set up his bedroom - neither was persuaded.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. We see that when Hagar had exhausted her visible options, she sat down and began to sob. Scripture does not say she called upon the Lord, but likely she did since in the next verse an angel call to her and gave her comfort, that God would take care of her son. I’m not at the point of despair, no one is pending their death, but we are certainly in a new stage. One in which mom’s ideas suggestions and concerns are hers-alone. They are testing their independence and believe they can overcome any challenge. Zach’s manager schedules him to work on Sunday’s from 8am to 4pm. I’ve asked him to request that he be changed to noon to 8pm so that we can attend church together. His response, “I don’t want to work that late. Besides, even if I miss church, it doesn’t mean I don’t love God. I watch the service online when I get home.” I’m glad he loves God, but I do think church attendance and participation are necessary. Additionally, as I look into the future, I can only pray that my parenting has pleased God, that I have taught them well and demonstrated Godly living, the rest...Lord help me, I pray. Amen. Pray for your children this week! Amen. Kim |
AuthorKimberly G. Massey Archives
January 2022
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