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This week in conversation, four different friends mentioned their therapists. It also seems I asked each one of them who they were seeing, as if I were looking for a therapist, myself. I’ve asked about insurance coverage and how to make an appointment. Also this week Simone Biles, our favorite Olympic gymnast, decided to withdraw from the US Olympic Team citing mental health reasons. Much of talk radio has discussed mental health this week and it’s got me questioning my own. As I consider whether or not I need a therapist, I have asked myself what I do to relieve stress. Last summer I wrote a post called Self-Care is Not Selfish and I referenced the story of David following the death of his and Bathsheba’s child. 2 Samuel 12:20 states, ”Then David got up from the floor, washed himself, put lotions on, and changed his clothes. Then he went into the Lord’s house to worship. After that, he went home and asked for something to eat. His servants gave him some food, and he ate.” This was a self care routine that David did for his mental health. I’ve been thinking on what I do for my mental health. I recently took an 8 week break from writing this weekly message that I have written each week since July 2017. I felt guilty about taking a break and prayed about it extensively, but it was needed and I made good use of the time. During that time, I tried to put myself in a better headspace by developing a daily routine. I have been forcing myself to go to bed by 10:00pm. I awaken at 5:00am. I have joined a gym and go to the 5:30am workout camp on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday - on Wednesday morning’s I walk 2 miles instead of going to the gym. I am usually back in my driveway by 6:30am. I sit in the car with the windows down to cool off and listen to the birds and grasshoppers and read and ponder the Bible Gateway Scripture of the Day. I then go inside and make a pot of coffee and enjoy the smell of it as I straighten up downstairs, if needed, let the dogs go outside, I water my plants, sometimes I sit on the back porch and rub them for a few minutes, then I head upstairs and dress for work. I drive to work with my cup of coffee, medicine, and vitamins to begin the day. This new routine has really been helpful - I’m not rushing around in the morning, my home is cleaner - which is a big stressor - and I plan for 7 hours of sleep. As I write this, I am doing something I have wanted to do for quite a while. I am in a hotel room. In 2020, hotel rooms were out and one thing I wanted to do this summer was stay in a hotel. I wanted to go to a place I had not been or had spent little time, so I chose Isle of Palms, SC. I asked my husband and children if they wanted to come and they were uncertain, so I booked the room and drove down alone. Yes, I felt guilty doing this, but I invited them and they declined. I must do this for me. I cannot express the feeling of only having myself to worry about, even if just for 24 hours. Stress is real and everyone’s stress is different. At this time, I don’t think I need a therapist, but it is good to know that there are many different options and there is absolutely no shame in having a therapist with whom to speak. Meanwhile, I will continue to take time for myself to be with the Lord each morning and take things day by day. I encourage you, too, to take time for yourself. We often say, “Life is short,” when we are about to do something crazy, but it can be short and we must live each day with a grateful heart and seek peace in our relationships and daily living. Amen. ~Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” ~Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Thank you for reading! Please share with a loved one. Kim
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We recently had a birthday cookout for my son and he invited lots of friends. As everyone began to arrive, they migrated to the backyard and mingled, seemingly enjoying seeing one another since it has been a few weeks since the school year ended. As I was inside prepping the food one of his friends came back into the house. “Oh my God. Mrs. Kim, I can’t go back out there.” “Why?” I asked. “Because [girl’s name] is out there.” “What’s wrong with that?” “Because - I hate her!” “What, why? “Because of something that happened a long time ago, when we were in middle school and I just still hate her.” “You mean she said something to you in middle school and you’re still mad about it?” “No ma’am. I did something to her and she’s probably still mad at me!” Confused, I said, “And you hate her? You did something to her and now you hate her?” “Yes, because she’s probably mad at me!” I thought for a minute and said, “It sounds to me like you walked outside and all of your guilt from whatever you did returned to your mind. She didn’t do anything, but you know what you did was wrong, and so rather than apologize you have turned your embarrassment into hatred.” He said, “Yeah, yeah, you’re right!” I said, “So...why don’t you take this opportunity to apologize and the two of you can enjoy a senior year as friends who don’t have this guilty conscience between you.” He said, “No ma’am. You’re right, it’s my guilt, but apologize...I’m not doing all that. I’m just going to stay in here and help you with the food.” I said, “Nope, I’ve got the food, you go mingle and apologize if the Spirit leads you to do so.” He didn’t apologize. He just avoided her for the evening. This conversation with my son’s 17 year-old friend has stuck out in my mind for the past few days. He is allowing a middle schooler’s offense to continue to plague his relationship with someone who could be his friend. By isolating himself from the others outside he wasn’t building any relationships that might prove to be important later. He might need a job reference, he might need a partner for a school project, he might need a ride to practice or a ride home one day - anything. We need each other here on this Earth and it seems crazy to me that we would let something from long ago hinder us now. This young man is not the only person allowing something old to hinder the new. I’ve been thinking about it - all sorts of things could damage our relationships. Things can be said or implied or misunderstood or lies could be told that leave us with a bad impression. It’s important to face up to it and try to make amends. I have a friend who asked me to read her book and give her feedback. I told her it could be while since we were in the middle of moving. Well, as of last week, I never finished. I felt bad about it. Every time I saw her I felt like a horrible person - I didn’t hate her, I knew I was the one who failed her, but I just couldn’t find the time to finish. On Friday, I saw her, sat next to her and apologized for not completing the reading. I told her that I tried, which was true, and that I had written some things that might be helpful in the margins of the portion I did read. I think we are okay. The next time I see her, I won’t feel the need to cower away wondering if she’s mad because I didn’t finish the book. If we are not careful, we can fail to see God’s loving hand on our lives because in our minds He didn’t do something we asked of Him in the past. I have actually heard people say they don’t believe in God because He took their grandmother or their mother or their best friend away. We must always realize that God is God. Whether we acknowledge Him or love Him or talk to Him or have a relationship with Him, He is still the God of the universe. He is still our Creator. He is still the one who planned our life. And He still loves us whether we love Him or not. If we are not careful, we can turn our backs to the One who is. Jesus said, He is the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Through Jesus, we can have life and have it more abundantly - but this comes through a relationship. This week, I beg you to examine your relationships. Yes, I’m talking about with friends and family, but I am also referring to your relationship with Jesus. He loves you more than you can fathom. Amen. Thank you for reading! Please, please, please share with someone you know and love. Kim
Before I begin this week’s post, I must thank you, my readers, for allowing me to take a break. I cannot tell you how necessary it was. If you have been reading for a while, we just moved into a new home and with work, parenting, etc. I needed some time away from my weekly duties to tie up a few loose ends. God has been faithful through this time helping me to alter my bedtime routine - going to sleep earlier, waking earlier; exercising more, working on the yard, unpacking and decluttering, painting. I also read a book and went on a short vacation. It’s been a well-spent 8 weeks.
I mentioned our short vacation, we drove up to Washington DC/Maryland over the Independence Day weekend. We did several tours visiting multiple historic sites and monuments. If you have ever driven on I-495/I-95 in that area, you know that the exits come quickly and if you miss your exit it could add a great deal of time between you and your destination. I drove with my phone leaning against the control panel showing me the GPS map. Each week, it seems, I realize a new difficulty with my changing vision. Driving in DC, I realized I can no longer read the GPS turns from my phone. Not wanting to miss an exit, I connected the phone through the audio in my car so that I could hear the directions and not rely on my ability to accurately see the GPS. As I relied upon the vocal directions of the GPS directing us back to South Carolina, I realized how this reliance was like how we should rely upon the voice of the Holy Spirit. We cannot see what’s ahead in our lives - even with the best glasses, even with the best laid plans, we cannot see beyond our present circumstances. We must rely upon His guidance every day of our lives. During the break, the Holy Spirit spoke to me, as He has many times. As I always do, my first reaction was resistance. I bargained. I hesitated. I tried to rationalize. I prayed. Then I told Him, I would do it tomorrow (3 days after he initially spoke to me) if He didn’t give me a different directive. Around 6:30am after my now routine morning workout, I was obedient. I sat there in my car waiting for the next step which did not come. I’ve now been waiting for about two weeks and I haven’t heard what I should do next. That’s a bit unnerving, as I already had my plans together and He told me to change them. Now what? I’m waiting. I’m practicing patience, which is a virtue. And you can bet He has my attention - when He speaks I will not be distracted and miss it. Some people wonder how to tell for sure, it’s the voice of the Lord and not the voice of their own mind. Here’s what I have found to be true.
I have also learned that when we hear His voice and fail to be obedient, we are saying, “That’s okay God, I can figure this out for myself.” This week, as you pray and study God’s word, listen for his voice. Realize that which you are trying to figure out has already been figured out since the beginning of time. Do what He says and wait to be amazed by the results. I will keep you posted on my situation. I have not figured it out, but He has. I know that and will give Him all the glory when the proper time comes. Amen. Thank you for reading! Please share this with someone you think may benefit from these words. Kim |
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January 2022
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