Parenting Two Teens

I remember feeling like my parenting had definitely entered a new stage when I disconnected Nick’s carseat for the last time.  Sure, the booster seat remained, but that was easy.  Both of my boys could open and close their own car door, they could buckle their own seatbelt, and I was happy about those things.  I recall the summer when I was anticipating having them ride the school bus home from school that fall and I wanted to teach them how to stay home alone for 30min until I arrived.  That was definitely a new stage!  I could go to the grocery store alone and only buy what I intended to buy - wow, what a day!!!  It seems like just last month that I had an afterschool program fee deducted from my account, but it was actually 3 years ago as that ended when Nick graduated from 5th grade - he will finish 8th grade next month.  Yep, next year I will have two sons in high school - and now Zach is contemplating whether he should graduate early since...he can.  

As the years have passed, I’ve shed many tears and prayed so many prayers.  I’ve protected and had difficult conversations, I’ve tried to teach lessons and come up with creative punishments, supply all of their needs, and many of their wants.  God has been good to us for sure.  

I remember talking to the pediatrician about how Zach seemed delayed in speaking.  He assured me there was no delay, and added today you ask when he’s going to start talking, next you’re going to ask when he will shut up.  Well, last week, Zach, who works as a cashier at a grocery store came home with groceries that he picked out and paid for, himself.  He said, “Mom, I’m sick of this fridge looking like this, so I decided to be responsible and buy us some food.”  He bought Hot Pockets, Lunchables, Gatorades, 2 half-gallons of ice cream, ice cream sandwiches, popsicles and yogurt.  I’ve been making an effort not to buy so much junk food, and to reduce our food waste and he just ruined all of that because he was sick of this fridge looking like this.  His pediatrician was right!   On the evening of the NFL draft, the boys wanted chicken wings, and I obliged.  Nick sat with his plate of wings, potato wedges, coke and a bottle of ranch dressing.  He dipped all of his food in ranch before every bite.  Finally, I said, “Nick, you need to stop with that, that’s way too many calories and fat.”  First he gave me the side-eye, then he said, “This ranch is not going to kill me and not eating it is not going to save me.”  He kept on dipping.  The pediatrician was right.
A few months ago, we studied Genesis 21 when Abraham sent Hagar and his son Ismael away because Ismael had been mocking Isaac, his son with his wife Sarah.  Scripture tells us that Hagar wandered in the desert with the boy.  

15When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she began to sob.
17God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.”
19Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.
20God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer. 21While he was living in the Desert of Paran, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt.

I remember wondering how the boy, Ishmael, who should have been 13 or 14 years old, at the time was carried by his mother.  Moreover, I have wondered how she put him under the bushes and made him stay.  My teens don’t stay where I put them!  They don’t take my suggestions or follow my lead.  I offered $50 to the first one to completely unpack and set up his bedroom - neither was persuaded. 

Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  We see that when Hagar had exhausted her visible options, she sat down and began to sob.  Scripture does not say she called upon the Lord, but likely she did since in the next verse an angel call to her and gave her comfort, that God would take care of her son.  I’m not at the point of despair, no one is pending their death, but we are certainly in a new stage.  One in which mom’s ideas suggestions and concerns are hers-alone.  They are testing their independence and believe they can overcome any challenge.  Zach’s manager schedules him to work on Sunday’s from 8am to 4pm.  I’ve asked him to request that he be changed to noon to 8pm so that we can attend church together.  His response, “I don’t want to work that late.  Besides, even if I miss church, it doesn’t mean I don’t love God.  I watch the service online when I get home.”  I’m glad he loves God, but I do think church attendance and participation are necessary.  Additionally, as I look into the future, I can only pray that my parenting has pleased God, that I have taught them well and demonstrated Godly living, the rest...Lord help me, I pray.  Amen.

​Pray for your children this week!  Amen. 
​Kim